Count-worthy sandwich.

My first restaurant meal as a resident of Massachusetts took place at a popular spot in Cambridge. It was, regrettably, only so-so. Had it not been for the fantastic people we brunched with, the experience would have rated slightly lower.

The menu had the usual eggs Benedict, steak and eggs, French toast, etc. I went for the Monte Cristo and this is where the cucumber begins to turn into a pickle. When the waiter took my order, I said, “Just to be clear, this sandwich is egg-battered and fried like French toast, yeah?” And he said, “No, it’s grilled ham and cheese, topped with a fried egg.” To which I replied, “Well then, that’s more of a croque madame than a Monte Cristo, isn’t it?” Waiter: “No, it’s a Monte Cristo.” I’d already decided on having the sandwich, despite its inaccurate handle, but the Hermione Granger in me really wanted to let this man know that Monte Cristos and croque madames are like the proverbial apples and oranges: “Sorry, but those are two totally different sandwiches.” Mercifully, the waiter didn’t kick me out of the restaurant, and just shrugged his shoulders and continued taking orders.

Right then and there I decided I needed to set the record straight in my own kitchen and create a semantically and anatomically correct Monte Cristo. I did some online research and was surprised at the scanty results that turned up, and even more surprised that no one could agree on the true origins of the that sandwich. I had secretly hoped that Alexander Dumas had snacked on them while writing his novels and liked them so much that he’d named one of his most beloved characters after them…

The fact is there are a variety of versions out there, the majority calling for turkey and Swiss, others ham or chicken and Swiss, and one recipe, from Bennigan’s Grill and Tavern incorporated both turkey and ham, as well as Swiss and American cheeses. The one common thread among these was that the sandwiches were egg-battered and fried, dusted with confectioner’s sugar, and served alongside fruit or fruit compote. I consulted Joy of Cooking as well but found that they go batter-free, which with all due respect, is unacceptable. Given the range of interpretations, I decided I had free rein to assemble a Monte Cristo of my own design, and I was deeply satisfied with it.

THE BIG MC
Serves 2

4 slices firm bread (Pullman, pain de mie, or challah – please, no Wonder et al, unless you want a soggy mess for brunch)
4 oz. ham
4 slices Swiss cheese
butter
vegetable oil
2 large eggs
1/3 C. milk
pinch salt

Confectioner’s sugar for dusting
Maple syrup

1. Butter one side of each bread slice.

2. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk eggs + milk + pinch salt.

3. Heat a large sauté pan on medium-high and add vegetable oil (you’ll have to eyeball this – there should be enough to lightly fry the bread).

4. Dip the buttered side of two bread slices in the egg mixture and allow to soak, about 15 seconds. Place the battered side in the oil and immediately top one slice with cheese and ham. Make sure the heat is not too high: the bread should brown slowly to allow the cheese to melt; there is nothing worse than a hot sandwich with a cold filling. Cover the ham and cheese with the second slice, and flip to continue browning.

5. Cut sandwich in half, sift powdered sugar over it, and serve with warm maple syrup.

Cheese first, ham second!

Since childhood, I’ve been obsessed with biscuits. My goal and acme was the biscuits sold at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yes, the Colonel was my inspiration for years of research and dedicated early-morning baking. At age 8 I started collecting recipes for all manner of biscuits – quick, drop, spoon, cream, baking soda, lard, etc. etc. etc. If I saw a biscuit recipe somewhere I’d copy it down and try out. As a result of my curiosity and quest for the ultimate recipe, I have numerous notebooks and scraps of paper proclaiming “Best biscuits ever!” in a wide variety of handwriting styles – from big, loopy third grade script to mature, all-caps block letters. Regrettably, I’ve moved around quite a bit (I’ve lived in at least 23 different homes – no joke!) and my belongings and personal effects are somewhat scattered. I wish I could go back and compare all of my biscuit recipes to confirm that my current one really is the best ever, but I can’t, so my exclamation points and scribbled assurances will just have to do. Rest assured, though, this recipe totally kicks Colonel butt.

Here are, without further ado, THE BEST BISCUITS EVER.
…At least for the time being.
Yields about 6 biscuits.

1 ½ C. all-purpose flour
1 tsp. sugar
1 ½ tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
¼ tsp. baking soda
½ stick butter, cut into 1” pieces
¾ C. buttermilk or plain yogurt

-Sift dry ingredients twice.

-Blend in butter with fingertips.

-Add buttermilk & stir in with fork just till combined.

-Knead 6 times, gently.

-Pat into an 8” x 5 ½” rectangle and cut into half lengthwise, then into thirds crosswise, or use a biscuit cutter.

-Bake 12 – 15 minutes at 425°F with rack in middle position.

-Serve warm with good butter and preserves.
SWEET VARIATION:
-Add 2 TBSP. of granulated sugar to the dry ingredients and proceed with recipe as directed.
-For a sparkly top, sprinkle a bit of sugar on the shaped biscuits before popping them in the oven.

MAKE AHEAD:
-Prepare recipe as directed, but rather than placing biscuits in oven, cover loosely with plastic wrap and slide into the freezer.
-Once solid, individually wrap each biscuit and store in a Ziploc bag.
-Ready to eat? Preheat oven to 400˚F and bake biscuits about 20 minutes.

These were actually a variation of the standard recipe, utilizing whole-grain flour, which is why they’re brownish in color. Great (and a good source of fiber!), but I much prefer the original version.

Banana bread isn’t a particular favorite in my book, mainly because I’ve either bought or experimented with recipes that were disappointing. The commercial variety inevitably taste over-banana-ed, no doubt because they’re chock-full of additives and artificial flavors. Like fake grape products, counterfeit banana tastes like kiddie cough syrups and other over-the-counter cures. My pickle with the recipes I’ve tested is that they’re usually rubbery or dry as a bone.

Enter Nancy Silverton and her glorious book, Pastries from La Brea Bakery. Looking through her recipes I came across banana nut loaf, and thought, “Hey, if anyone can make a good banana nut loaf, if anyone can redeem it, it’s Nancy Silverton.” So I bought some bananas and patiently waited for them to get nice and black outside. Today, when the bananas, at last, were mature enough, I mashed them up and mixed them in with heaps of chopped, toasted nuts and spices.

Make sure bananas are really ripe.

DO chop the nuts with a knife – using the food processor will leave behind uneven pieces and nut powder.

Things got off to a good start, because even as I began chopping the nuts, their toasted scent reached my nose, mingling with the heady aroma of ripe bananas; they were perfectly matched. My skepticism over banana bread waning, I caught myself anticipating a sweet reward, and Nancy delivered. What came out of the oven was darkly tanned on the outside and moist inside. The cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg provided warmth as well as refinement – this banana nut loaf is for grown-ups, a far cry from those cheap attempts you may be used to eating.

BANANA-NUT LOAF
Adapted from Pastries from La Brea Bakery by Nancy Silverton

2/3 c. walnuts
2/3 c. pecans
3 to 4 bananas, very ripe, mashed to equal 1 ¼ c., plus 1 whole banana for garnish
2 extra-large eggs
1 ½ tsp. pure vanilla extract
1 stick unsalted butter, chilled and cut into 1″ cubes
1 ¼ tsp. baking soda
2 ½ tsp. baking powder
¾ tsp. kosher salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
¾ tsp. freshly grated nutmeg
Scant ¼ tsp. ground cloves
1 TBSP. Poppy seeds
½ c. granulated sugar, plus 1 tsp. for sprinkling
¼ c. + 2 TBSP. Light brown sugar, lightly packed
1 ½ c. unbleached AP flour

Adjust the oven rack to the middle position and preheat oven to 325˚F. Spread the nut on a baking sheet at toast in the oven until lightly browned, about 8 to 10 minutes. Shake the pan halfway to ensure the nuts toast evenly. Cool, chop coarsely, and set aside.

Turn the oven up to 350˚F.

In a medium bowl, whisk the banana puree, eggs, and vanilla to combine. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and poppy seeds on low, 2 to 3 minutes, until softened. Add the sugars and turn the mixer up to medium, mixing another 3 to 4 minutes until fluffy, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.
Add the flour and banana mixture alternately in 3 batches, beginning with the flour.

Fold in the nuts.

Pour batter into pan.

Cut two ¼” strips from the additional banana, slicing down the entire length. Arrange the two C shapes on the top the loaf, staggered, with the two ends slightly interlocking with other in the center. Sprinkle about 1 tsp. of granulated sugar over the surface.

Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, until nicely browned and firm to the touch.

The bananas on top were amazing.